now that we are alone…

19 11 2009

I’ve been thinking of going private for awhile now. If you are anything like me you have groaned over my need to make you go through an additional step to read these words I type here, and for that I am sorry.

My decision was indeed partly influenced by the rash of hateful comments by the anti-adoption world, but since I myself haven’t been under fire recently, it is more out of avoidance than anything.

The real reason is that I have discovered that I am filtering and editing a lot based who I believe is or is not reading. I am not being altogether truthful and since I am writing this for myself, it is pretty useless if I am not truthful. I regret that I will not gain new followers (and will probably lose some), but it is all I feel comfortable with at this point.

I have a few posts brewing with some adoption related stuff that has been going on.

I do plan on sending an email to let everyone know when I update here, since I am not the most regular blogger. The good news is, pictures will commence! Thank you all for following me down this now private road for as long as I feel it needs to be kept so. Blogging has become important to me in so many ways and I feel like I have gained some fantastic friendships!!

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26 responses

19 11 2009
Joy

I'm glad you've created this private space to really open up and be honest… and I'm really honored to be able to listen and in a way walk with you in your journey!

19 11 2009
Yaya

Good for you. After my recent events on my blog with such hurtful and hateful comments from the adoption world, I'm actually scared to blog anymore. Those people sounded crazy and it scared me that they could find out everything about me on my blog.

19 11 2009
Melba

I'm glad you feel better now, and like you can be more honest. I know you've been super busy, but I figures there were probably things you would say if you felt like you could. It's true, blogging has opened up entirely new worlds, and amazing friendships for me too. None of that would have been possible 20 years ago. It's pretty amazing. Hugs, my friend!Melba

19 11 2009
Emily

I don't mind taking the extra step to read… I totally understand your need for knowing who is/isn't reading here. I would feel the same! Looking forward to some new R pics! 🙂

19 11 2009
LL

I think you will feel a deep sense of security now that you are private. You may always have a little remorse about it ( I sometimes do, the same reasons you do, loss of followers, loss of new readers) but at the same time that security it provides for me is worth it. I never had any hateful comments either but I am also glad that privacy allows me to avoid it. And I am able to open up a bit more too. I also send out the email notices and wish I had started that sooner because perhaps more of my readers would have stuck around. But perhaps some of them will return.Anyway, I am looking forward to reading and seeing all the beautiful pics of R! And of course not having to input those "words" for commenting is an added bonus! :)I really hope that we can meet when Jay and I (hopefully) move there!

19 11 2009
Tracey

Thanks for inviting me…I can't wait to hear more.

19 11 2009
Jamie

looking so forward to some pictures and some good discussions. 🙂

19 11 2009
kalibug

Thank you for adding me. We are hoping more than anything that we will continue our relationship with Kali's birthmom. We feel we must for Kali's and "A", BUT, yes, there is a but, if there ever comes a time where she is a danger to Kali, then the visits must stop. We also made a rule that Kali makes the decision. Not where we tell her that one day, but if the visits start to hurt her, then she can decide on if the visits will continue unless she is too young to understand, and then we continue as we are here to protect her from anything in life. I hope that time never comes. And that first year, was so difficult. I know, based on friends, that they would not have continued the relationship, but it got better, and very sweet as it would have been too easy for us to have stopped contact. I think parents must think about those decisions, and if you have made a decision, then you have your reasons. In our case, I FEEL that "A" will be admitted to a mental facility just based on what we see and she tell us if our contact stops. What I mean is, there are some problems there, but she is not a danger to us or Kali, just herself. We let her know that she cannot be leading the life that she leads and except to be around (alive) for Kali one day. Kali will not be able to deal with that. I didnt put this on my blog, but there was talk to admit her recently. The poor kid had a horrible childhood, and not much of a young adulthood. She still loves Kali though, and I think even though she is not with her all the time or contacts us all the time, this little girl is helping to keep "A" on earth, and happy. I am receiving more texts from her, which is very sweet, and I feel it lifts her spirits. Again, that first year! Wow! Oh, my friends went through their child's birthmom calling them nearly every day, coming over and telling them how to raise her and then finding out she was uploading video to myspace of another child and telling people this was her child, and also at work. There were more things going on also. She was having horrible denial problems, but now, the baby is nearly one, and things have gotten more comfortable. I do not know what is going on, but if you have made the decision, then I KNOW it was not taken lightly, and people will understand that. I just wanted your other readers who may be just adopting to know about our situation and my friends.Sorry for the big ramble, and I hope it made sense and didnt tick anyone off. Keep your chin up!! And thanks again for the add.

19 11 2009
hope548

I totally respect your decision to go private. I'm glad you want to include your faithful readers in your life.

19 11 2009
KLTTX

The e-mail notifications will be greatly appreciated.

19 11 2009
Becky

Hey!Is that your sweet baby in that header pic???!!! What a cute picture and she couldn't be more adorable!!!

19 11 2009
Maru and Fico

Thanks for inviting me. It's an honor to follow your blog. I completely understand how you feel. It's hard to deal with people out there…Hugs,Maru

19 11 2009
stillthinkingagain

Good for you, Bri! I'm so glad that you invited me to come along… you are, without a doubt, one of my very favorite friends in blogworld. I think it's great that you've made the decision that's best for you. If you're having to edit your thoughts, then what's the point?And love, love, love the pic of Riley in your header. So stinkin' CUTE! :)hugs, Sarah

19 11 2009
Kathy Lang

Thank you for inviting me to read your blog! We have our own 'issues' with our daughter's birth mother, but have a great relationship with our daughter's birth grandmother and birth aunt. Each adoption is beautiful in its' own way, but sometimes there are aspects that aren't the best. I'm looking forward to reading more!

20 11 2009
Jodi

I'm glad to be here! Thanks for the invite! I for one will be glad to see more cute pics of Riley, and am anxious to hear about what's happening with her birth family!Take care Bri!

20 11 2009
birthmothertalks

I understand the need to go private. I feel much better now that I did make a private place for me.

20 11 2009
Jessica

I'm just glad to be hearing more from you!!

20 11 2009
Jaunna

Thanks for adding me! Oh gosh baby girl is PRECIOUS! Those eyes are melt-worthy!

20 11 2009
GsMomAswifey

It's nice to be able to share your feelings openly without judgment. I'm looking forward to getting to know you!

20 11 2009
H

Thanks for inviting me along…I've been reading and being encouraged by you since last Christmas, and I would hate to lose that! And I'm looking forward to more Riley pics, too!:)

21 11 2009
birthmom1986

thanks for inviting me. I've followed you for a while now, about four months before R was born. It is amazing the journey that you and hubbs have been through, and I'm honored that you invited me.

21 11 2009
Kel

Good for you BB you'd mentioned it several times in the last few months! I think it's right for you to be private! I don't mind signing in to see your blog at all. I think I only have to do it when the cookie expires!I love seeing pictures with stories about R! She's a doll!

22 11 2009
Nancy

Thanks for inviting me to follow along, Bri. I am so glad we're going to start seeing pictures again!

22 11 2009
Debbie B

Glad you will be able to blog your heart. I can't tell you how many drafts I have because I just don't know who is out there sometimes. I don't mind the extra step at all.

22 11 2009
myhopefulheart

I don't blame you for going private. In this day and age, you can't be too careful. I'm glad to be able to stick around though!

23 11 2009
Rebekah

I understand and will appreciate seeing more pictures :).

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