This and that

6 12 2010

We are trucking right along.  Can you all believe it is well into December already?  My mom has been staying with us (again) for the past two weeks(one more to go!).  I have to say that even though I have had houseguest way too much this year, it has been completely delightful having her here.  She is taking some courses for her career, but in between those she is saving me money on daycare, doing my laundry and cooking us dinner.  It has been awesome!

R, for some reason, doesn’t seem to be taking to her.  Ok, I admit it, my kiddo is hard to break.  Her default is set to “don’t like” and you have to earn your way to “like.”   She is a mama’s girl.  She loves her sitter.  She loves my MIL. And she loves all girls between the ages of 4 and 12.  If you aren’t one of those people, you are SOL.  Unless, of course, none of the aforementioned people are present.  Then she will make a short-term exception.

My mom has been trying extra hard.  In grandparent language that means my kiddo has been eating lots of sugar.  We went to Target (R is NOT a good shopper so we don’t do this very often).  I went to the bathroom and when I came back, R was in the cart in between a Hi-C drink and a bag of popcorn with a bowl of ice cream planted on her lap.  Ahhhh…. Nana,  you stinker.  It warms my heart, though.  I love how much my family loves her.  Even if it isn’t always returned.

It got me to thinking of a conversation I was apart of recently. Som adoptive mammas that I love were sharing their stories of their families that didn’t to accept or “celebrate” their kids as much as other kids in the family.  It broke my heart.  Honestly, it was never even something I’d considered.

I’m very fortunate that our family has accepted R without even so much as a flinch.  They love her to pieces no matter what and her adoption has no influence on that whatsoever.  In fact, I know for certain that she is the “favorite” in many cases (which sounds mean, but my family is notorious for playing favorites and it has NEVER been me, so bring it on! 🙂  Anyway, I am very thankful to have such a loving and supportive family. 

Changing gears a bit…  my friend at work is pregnant.  Her daughter is a year older than R and I distinctly remember having a very hard time with her first pregnancy.  We weren’t friends then at all, but now she is my closest friend at work.  I didn’t struggle at all with the announcement, but I am struggling now.  Not really emotionally, but I am struggling with not being able to relate to her at all right now.  I mean, I have avoided talking anything and everything pregnancy for years and years.  I don’t know how to talk about it, I don’t know the questions to ask and, if I am honest, I don’t really want to ask about it.  I mean, I care, I really do.  I can talk about stuff like if its going to be a girl or a boy or what things will be like once he/she is here… but I can’t seem to ask her how she is feeling or anything like that.  Everyone else asks, and tune out because I don’t want to know how she is doing, physically.  For the record, I’m not sad or anything.  I guess it is just those IF wounds still lingering a little that makes me not feel sorry for anyone’s pregnancy woes at all. 

I’m surprised that I am not feeling jealous or sad about this whole thing and I find it interesting that I am still ambivalent about pregnancy in general in the meantime.  IF made me weird. 🙂

Changing gears a bit again…  On Thanksgiving I was talking with my ILs about R and how amazing and awesome and smart she is.  For the record, I really don’t mind when people tell me she is the cutest kid ever.  I don’t mind when people tell me she is the smartest kid on the planet. Or when people tell me I should get her into commercials because she is so cute and smart.  Anyway, back to my ILs.  They were doing just that; raving about how advanced and cute she is and patting us on the back for being good parents and telling us how we have created such an incredible environment for her to learn and thrive.  They were going on and on and on (they do this a lot.  I don’t really know why they do it, other than there are so many kiddos her age and she is far ahead of all of them, but to be fair, they are ALL twins and doing just fine especially considering they were premature) and giving us all the credit.  So, finally, I said, “well, you know, she has great genes.”  I know it isn’t funny, but I almost laughed out loud when I saw how they all kinda froze in discomfort.  After a very long moment, my MIL finally broke the silence and said, “well, yeah.  I guess she must.” 

I wonder why it makes people so uncomfortable to talk about her birth family.  I don’t know why they get so squeamish when I give them some credit for R being here and being wonderful.  It makes me wonder if they would act that way if I had negative things to say about them. 

R is doing great.  It is so much fun watching her personality develop.  Her imagination is developing rapidly and I LOVE it.  I want to share some cute moments…

-Picking up a jeweled box at Target, “Looooook, Mommeeee.  Peeeettty!”

-Labeling  the dancing/singing Mr and Mrs Snowman plush “”daddy” and “mommy” (it amazes me that she can already differentiate genders in snowmen AND that she is pretending they are us!  too cute)

– Daddy went to get her from her crib this morning and I hear over the monitor, “good morning, baby!”  and she responds with, “noooooooo!  I wannnnn Mommeeeee!”  Poor Daddy!

-Last night her baby was “thirseeee,” so she poured her some tea, fed it to her, then had her take a bite out of each different kind of cake and said “Nummmy nummmy, baby.”  I love it.  Guess who is going to love the play kitchen Santa has in mind?

-She has a new obsession with band aids and back rubs. 

-She has a continued obsession with boots and red shoes.  We often sleep with our shoes on around here.

-She can be bribed to do anything with Candy.

-She LOVES Santa in movies, on the christmas tree and from afar.  I don’t have high hopes of her loving him up close.

On the not-so-warm-and-fuzzy-side, I think she is working on her two-year molars.  Lets just say they are not my friend.   Although she generally showers me with adoring love and affection, sometimes (even in the middle of said showering), she will bust out with some crazy cat-like clawing and vampire-ish teeth sinking moves out of the blue.  Currently, I have a giant chunk taken out of my cheek, a neck that looks like Edward Sizzorhands gave me a neck rub and a bite on my stomach that would make Edward Cullen jealous.  It’s downright mean and she has brought me to tears more than once.  We have also had some severe sleeping issues as of late and she isn’t eating like her normal self.    I hope those babies pop through soon!

We still haven’t submitted our application to agency to get back in the waiting pool.  I am just dragging my feet getting our profile completed and printed.  My goal right now is by the end of January, which is finally realistic. 🙂

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2 responses

6 12 2010
Cristy

She seems to be doing really well. I can just see your Mom feeding her all kinds of yummy treats trying to earn her love. When it comes to the friend that’s pregnant, maybe don’t worry so much about asking how she is feeling. She might get tired of that anyway. Also, sorry about people still being uncomfortable about adoption. I guess they would rather not think about it and some people just are not going to change. I personally believe that people look down on women who place their children for adoption because good Mom’s would take care of their children. That’s my 2 cents on that.

6 12 2010
Cristy

Opps.. I don’t want to make it seems that I am being negative towards women who choose adoption as in they are bad Mom’s. It’s how society treats birthmoms.

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