Staying at home

27 09 2012

Well, hello there!  We are still kicking over here and we have been adjusting to our new way of life… and adjusting to the way it keeps changing.

I remember very well the stay-at-home mom vs work-outside the home mom debate.  I’m here to settle the score.  Haha!  Just kidding.  But I certainly have an opinion on the whole thing having experienced both perspectives.  In short, now that I stay at home, my days are much harder but life is much easier.

I love being at home with my girls.  I love getting to spend most of my days with them, I love coming up with new things to do, and I even love cleaning my own home again (sometimes, anyway.  I do miss it all being clean at one time, though).

There are so many moments where I stop and revel in a sweet moment with my girls (or between them) and think that I am so blessed to be able to be here for it.  And even on the days when I think I am going to lose it and I can’t take another second, I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

I am a better mom to Big Sister than I have ever been.  I have always had a lot of patience, but I didn’t have a lot of time.  Since Big Sis is a very spirited little girl, I often times would let her run the show so she didn’t have  a melt-down.  I didn’t want the time we spent together to be stressful or filled with conflict.  Now, however, I am ok if an entire afternoon is filled up with a giant tantrum because I know that it will benefit us all in the long run.  When I get stressed out, I use my sister’s mantra, “It’s just one afternoon (or hour, or day or week)” and we get through it.  And we are so much better for it.  I feel like we are all in much better control.  In the past four months, I have learned so much about how to parent my super intelligent, hilarious, spirited girl.

One of my favorite parts is how I am not “obsessed” with spending time with my kids.  We have gotten back to having dates and I love sharing my babies with their grandparents.  I love to hang out with our families and friends and don’t feel  like I am losing my time with them to “share” them.  I am so much more relaxed and easy-going than I have been in a long time.

The hardest part for me has been socialization.  There have been many points during the past four months that I have felt bad about myself because I don’t have a lot of SAHMs to hang out with during the day.  The truth is, I have always kind of struggled with creating new relationships.  The majority of my good friends were formed in situations where I spent a lot of time with someone before becoming friends with them (i.e. school or work) and most of those relationships are over a decade old. I think the biggest reason is that I don’t mind being alone and I never get bored.  I don’t mind cleaning, I love playing with my kids, I love TV and books, and I have the whole internet at my disposal.  I’m working on being more social and putting in effort to keep in contact with people I have things in common with.

Big Sis is in preschool 2 mornings a week.  I love that she loves it and I love the socialization and social skills she is learning (which to me is the most important thing at this age).  She comes home every day to show off her new knowledge and am super impressed.  She is also in dance class once a week (which she looks forward to and LOVES) and we are playing soccer.  I am coaching her team that is full of her buddies, so we have practice once a week and games once a week and I am having a lot of fun.  She is such a little competitive superstar!

Little Sis is my little angel baby.  She is so happy and easy-going.  She fights sleep like it’ll kill her, but she would be too good to be true if that weren’t the case. She is walking and almost running and blowing kisses and saying a handful of words. She is cuddly and loves  hugs and kisses and meal times and mickey mouse.

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5 responses

28 09 2012
Richele

What a fun update!

And what a great way to put it – harder days, easier life. Having not done both, I would have to agree anyway just based on the thought process of trying to get everyone up and out the door everyday, then trying to make up for that lost time. Although three and a half years later, I still miss my paycheck. It was a healthy one.

I’m a bit envious of your patience – I wonder if I dropped mine somewhere. Must’ve fallen right out of my pocket!

The social aspect will come – you’ll nail that piece, too!

29 09 2012
Faith

Awww, I love this! I totally understand everything about it, lol! I work part time, so I have pangs of some of all of what you wrote about. And I agree that I am MUCH more tired after days staying at home, but life is MUCH simpler on the days I don’t work outside of the home. I am blessed, and I know that. Your girls sound So adorable, I wish you lived just a little closer so we could get our little ones together:). Oh, and I am SO not social – I have tried hard to do playdates and such, but all that results in is playdates – I’m still not making my own friends, lol. Oh well. Oh and preschool – is she 3 or 4? Jax will be 3 next year and I am considering preschool for him at that time, just 2 mornings a week. Would love to know your thoughts! Take care!

29 09 2012
Cristy

Nice to see ya blogging again. Glad both kids are doing well.

16 10 2012
Melba

This post makes me feel warm and gooey. 🙂 And makes me wish for the umpteenth time that we lived a few less states away from each other! I do have to say I’m a tad jealous of your current status; however, as a teacher…I get to experience both sides of the coin too. My summers are much like you mentioned about your days now, while my school years are totally crazy. I wish there were some way to create a little more balance in it all.

Anyway…I love that you are loving life, and that you are so happy. You deserve every minute of it!!

Melba

24 10 2012
Nity

I love this update. I’m so glad to hear SAHM is going well. Love the updates on the girls too.

For friends – try going to an organized playdate (i.e., gymnastics, BSF, or free gym time somewhere) where you can meet other moms. The friendships might not be strong at first, but you can meet them and they organize playdates on your own. I struggle with it because I’m only home PT so it’s harder to see people I do know (and make new friends) in 2 short days along with getting all the housework done.

xoxo

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