10 08 2009

Has every mom out there placed an order with Diapers.com? If not, you should.

Use this code BRIB6469 to get $10 off your first order and if you order $49 or more you get free shipping… and it arrives the next day! I am a huge fan of things I need just showing up at the door. The deals are much better than Costco (on your first order anyway).

I have placed 5 orders with them (each one to a diff address so I get the $10 off each time. Shhhh… don’t tell) and have had no issues. In fact, the last time I ordered I ordered the wrong size and they came back and picked it up at no charge!!

So, if you use my code, you get $10 off and I get a $1 credit. Deal?


My crazy weekend

3 08 2009

– I took Friday off to hang with my little sis an extra day before she went home.

– Took R to doc for her four month. She is doing fantastic and the doc said she is developmentally more like a six month old. Oh yeah! Gotta love that mama pride. She weighed 13.5 lbs and is 26.5 inches long. Both 50th percentile.

– My refrigerator broke and we lost all our food. Hubbs went directly to having to spend $1100 on a new one. I called a repair man and they came and fixed it in about three minutes for $225. I had a coupon for 20% off, so rather than an $1100 expense, it was $180. Go K.udzu.com.

– My baby nieces were born on Saturday! yay! Healthy as can be at 5lbs 7oz 18.5 inches and 6lbs 19.5 inches. I would share a photo, but they haven’t sent me one yet. Assholes. 🙂

– Went to the lake this weekend. I didn’t want to go but when I saw the perma-grin on my 13 year-old sister’s face when we put the throttle down, it was so worth it!!

– I tried CIO this weekend with R (against my will) because I know the sitter is going to. First time she was out after 8 minutes of crying. Second time, three minutes. I think she will be ok.

– Took my sis to the airport Sunday. Cried my eyeballs out.

– Last night, R slept 10.5 hours straight in her crib and I had to wake her up!! I hope it wasn’t just a fluke and that we are on to something here (maybe something to do with falling asleep by herself during her naps???).

– Took R to daycare for the first time today. I didn’t cry until I was well on my way to work. The sitter’s three year old looked at R and said, “She has a little head.” It cracked me up so much I forgot to be sad!!! I love kids! My niece and nephew (6 month old twins) also go there, and they have my husband’s family’s giant sized head… so in comparison, she DOES have a small head. Actually, she is only in the 25th percentile for head size, so in comparison to most babies, she has a small head.

– Happy Monday! Boo!

30 07 2009

So, during my unexpected respite from blogging, I decided I was going to kinda wrap up my blog and “retire”. I am spread pretty thin as it is, and I was starting to feel “bad” when would I play around in blogland.

There are many women out there that are doing this “adoption thing” a whole lot different that I am. If I am honest, I have very little desire to have the level of open adoption that so many people seem to have. I am not the adoptive mother that wishes we could visit with R’s birth family monthly or whatever. But these women, these families that have these fully open adoptions seem to have it all together. It seems to work beautifully and in some ways I am immensely jealous of the way it works… and I started to feel bad about myself and my situation. These women seem to have the answer to every open adoption question in every situation. They seem to be more wise than I am, better mothers and just plain have it all together more than I. They are just downright pros. I would walk a thin line between wanting to be just like then, but feeling that it wasn’t right for me.

The thing is, it isn’t for me. It isn’t for us. Regular visits and phone calls and family celebrations just wouldn’t work for any of us, which is why I don’t want it. It took me awhile to realize that I am envious of their situations because they work and they seem glorious. They have these relationships with these birthmothers that is extraordinary. But I KNOW that wouldn’t work for us. This isn’t our situation, and I can’t make it be. Hubbs is still a little stand-offish on the visits. R’s birth parents don’t even want the level of contact that we have and even though I love writing to them and I would love to see them again, a fully open adoption just isn’t the answer for any of us. What works for us (ALL of US) is what we are doing now. I am confident in how THIS is going for us. I am my own PRO at our own situation (well, I will be after a few more months). And I think I am doing a pretty good job at this motherhood thing, too.

I am getting more and more confident in being a mom, being an adoptive mom, and being a mom to this specific, wonderful baby girl. I tend to forget that we all start out as babies. We all have a learning curve with life, motherhood and openness in adoption. I do feel like I am finding my way beautifully and I can’t compare myself to mothers that have different situations and that have been doing this with multiple children for years on end. We just aren’t the same… and actually our situation isn’t the same as anyone elses. I don’t need to feel like I need to raise my daughter a certain way, explain adoption to her a certain way (or at a certain age or certain frequency). I am going to do it the I feel is right (Hubbs included) and best.

And then I was shocked and appalled at myself for even considering giving up this blog. This blog (and blogland itself) has been a huge area of support, education and growth for me. I have laughed and cried like you wouldn’t believe. I have mourned and rejoiced with people I would honestly call my friends, that without blogland I wouldn’t even know existed. I have witnessed families being formed, hearts being broken, and wishes coming true.

Plus, I have so much more to say!! Who knows how much content it will carry, but lots and lots of words!!

So, I am just going to blog about whatever I want from here on out. Either my adventures with R, juggling life, open adoption, or just some things that I think!!

Still here….

28 07 2009

As I come back from my little unintended leave of absence, I wonder if anyone noticed I was gone???

Things have been rather insane lately, in a good way. We have just been so busy with just about everything! Weddings*, trips to the cabin, my baby sister has been in town, working, looking for child care**, watching R grow***, taking editing and printing R’s 3 month photos (coming soon to a post near you).

All in all, things are just wonderful! Last night Hubbs said to me out of the blue while giving R a bath, “This is our baby!!” Yeah, sometimes we still have to pinch ourselves!! I feel like I just repeat myself over and over again, but I cannot express how blessed I feel. I am so thrilled to have a baby, any baby in my life. However, R is the perfect baby for me. She is just the coolest thing ever and I love her more than words can describe.

*the wedding was actually pretty nice. From behind the scenes, it was a total mess and even thought the ceremony started an hour late, I think everything went off without a hitch. R was a big hit (as usual!!) and we had a really nice time in the Northern Arizona forests!! Once I was there, I wasn’t such a grouch about being in the wedding and I actually had a little fun!!

After the wedding there was a little after party in the backwoods (which was weird, but really pretty!). We took both our dog and R with us because we were only staying a short while. Hubbs played his guitar for the crowd and R and I walked hung out and Captain dug in the mud and got incredibly dirty. At one point, a younger woman there with her boyfriend said to me, “You guys just have the perfect little family!! You guys are so cute with your adorable baby and cute as heck puppy! I want to BE you guys!” It made my heart soar to be the envy of someone else. For years and years I have been looking at others longingly to have their family… and now I have that (eventually growing) family! What a compliment! And how right she is! We are so fortunate and fulfilled!!

**On Monday R starts daycare. We met several people, but ultimately decided we are going to try to go to the same place R’s twin cousins go. They live very close (which I like R having little exposure on the roads with all those crazy drivers!!) and my IL’s can help pick her up if we need them to. The lady is nice and my ILs know her well and trust her. My only concern is that she will be able to care for three infants, but after a 1 year-old friend of R’s tried to step on her head, I like the idea of her only being around kids that couldn’t crush her skull. So we are doing a two week trial to see how things go. I have a back up just in case. I am a tad worried about how she is going to do at naptime since my grandma pretty much rocks her to sleep at every nap (even though I asked her not to, but what can you do? Fire the free help?).

***R is doing fantastic! She is growing like a weed and is doing great with her development! Her doc is very impressed!! She had her first solid foods a few weeks back. She was a complete riot!! She didn’t hesitate one bit and jumped right in and innately knew right what to do. Her little trap door just pops right open at the sight of that spoon!! It is the funniest thing! I did miss out on the messy-baby-first-feeding thing, but this was better!!

Night sleeping has suddenly become a challenge for us. I personally thing she just wants to hang out with me now that I am working, but Hubbs swears I am crazy!! I have been more tired the past few weeks than when we first brought her home. It isn’t so bad, but a lot of times I feel like she is terribly uncomfortable. Like she is trying to sleep, but her body is achy and she keeps tossing and turning. Occasionally I give her Tylenol, but I don’t want to over do it, especially since I don’t really know what the deal is. The other night, she tossed and turned and groaned from 2 am until 6 am. I felt so bad for her!! She is sleeping a little longer now that we have established a good nighttime schedule and bedtime. Also, the rice cereal has helped, too. It is like she sleeps great for like 6 or 7 hours, and then can’t get comfy to get back to sleep, which is unusual for her.

She is a total Mamas Girl right now, which is good because i need her to be. Having my grandma at our house has been very stressful and as eternally thankful as I am for her generous help (we literally couldn’t have done it without her), I am ready to move on to the next chapter where I don’t feel like I am entertaining every night. Hubbs is a little jealous of the Mamas girl thing, but he always says that he gets it, I am pretty easy to love. LOVE that man!

She goes for her four month appointment on Wednesday (can you believe she is four months old!?!? Cripes, time flies!!).

My baby sister is here!!! We are having a lot of fun, despite the fact that I have to work. We went to the cabin last weekend and this weekend we are actually going to take a trip to the lake!! I am also taking Friday off work to just hang out with her and R. What should we do????She is getting to spend a lot of time with R and really bond with her, which is cool because her twin nieces should be born any day now and she is going to live with them and have plenty of time to bond with them.

More soon! I promise!

Total vent post completely unrelated to anything I typically blog about:

10 07 2009

Next weekend I am in a wedding for a friend that I have known for only about 3 years. I wouldn’t call us close by any means and I was surprised (and honored) to be asked to be in her wedding. It is turning out to be a complete nightmare!!

This is her second wedding in three years, which is only important because it is the only reason I can point to for her complete ambivalence toward planning this second one. Her wedding is 2.5 hours away in the small town she grew up in (which also happens to be in the same town my grandma just bought a cabin in!!).

We had three days notice for her bridal shower, which I did not attend due to a previous engagement (duh, give me more than three days!).

Two weeks ago (three weeks before the wedding), I called her (for the fifth time) to ask about which dresses we were going to wear in the wedding(hello? It is three weeks away!!). I got, “Oh, yeah! Can you go shopping with me right now?” Ummm… no. How about you do that with your maid of honor? Two days later, I got a text saying that she just wants all of us to just go buy a dress in her color to wear in the wedding, and all of us will be different. Ok, so I acknowledge my severe need for control and order, but this is my worst nightmare. I’ve done my best to let it go, thankful that I can at least get a dress I will wear again.

On Wednesday(10 days before the wedding), I called her to ask if they were going to have a rehearsal (since it just occurred to me that there should be one and I hadn’t heard anything). She forgot to tell me (and the other girls) that it is at the place they are getting married (2.5 hours away) at 3pm the day before the wedding (a Friday). So, obviously I need to take the day off. Thanks for the 9 days notice. She then tells me that this Saturday is her bach.elorette party and since I didn’t attend her shower, she really wants me to be there. Ok, I totally respect that, even though I have zero desire to go watch a bunch of girls drink themselves silly instead of hanging out with my daughter- but again, thanks for the notice. Oh, but the bachelorette party starts at 11am at the pool… and goes until 2am the next morning when the bars close. Ummm… can I get a no thank you? So, I agreed to be there from 5-9 for the lin.gerie shower and dinner. She then asked me if I knew anyone that had four 8-foot banquet tables she could borrow. Seriously?

Today, I get a text with a photo of a shoe, saying that these are the ones she wants us all to wear. I literally almost lost it!! You don’t care if our dresses match, but our shoes need to match (to the tune of $70!!!)???? To top it off, the designer she chose doesn’t make shoes in my size (proudly a size 11!!). So I got an “it’s ok, just find a shoe close to that.” Ummm… no!! Do you know how hard it is to find shoes in my size? Well, not to hard if I just order them online, which I often do, but I would need more than 6 days notice and I am NOT spending the only day I have with my family looking for shoes that aren’t going to match everyone else’s. I will wear something from my closet thankyouverymuch!!

I am extremely irritated by the lack of communication. I probably haven’t been the best of bridesmaids up to this point because the last three months have been pretty hectic, but mostly it is because I have had to ASK about almost every detail (which since it isn’t my wedding, hasn’t been in a timely manner). I am immensely irritated, but I also feel really guilty about it because it is supposed to be her special day and at this point, I am not really that interested in the whole matter.


Cool Free Stuff

10 06 2009

Click here to learn how to request a free Baby’s Birth Greeting from the President.

Click here to receive a free circus ticket for your new baby with no expiration date!!

8 06 2009

Thanks to Holly and Sarah for the tag!

1. R’s adoption being finalized
2. Watching R grow up
3. Getting home from work
4. The weekend (always)
5. The fourth of July
6. Our bank account growing again (i.e. paychecks!!)
7. Going to visit my family in August
8. The holidays

1. Slept in (Thanks R!)
2. Went to the grocery store
3. Watched a movie
4. Hung out with R the WHOLE day!
5. Made dinner
6. Had friends over
7. Drank a beer
8. Went to bed late!

1. Stay at home
2. Use public restrooms
3. Win the lottery
4. Afford a housekeeper
5. Live further away from my in-laws
6. Live closer to my parents (but still further than my in-laws live now)
7. Travel at the speed of light
8. Find the time and will to exercise

1. American Idol
2. Grey’s Anatomy
3. Desperate Housewives
4. Private Practice
5. Criminal Minds
6. Southland
7. The New Adventures of Old Christine
8. How I met Your Mother
*and I could go on and on…

1. Anything Mexican
2. Pizza
3. Cereal
4. French Bread
5. Hand dipped corn dogs
6. Fresh fruit salad (really any fresh fruit)
7. Homemade Brownies
8. Homemade cupcakes

1. California
2. Utah
3. Michigan
4. Colorado
5. Mexico
6. Jamaica
7. Cayman Islands
8. Italy

1. Fiji
2. New York
3. Chicago
4. Ireland
5. France
6. Virgin Islands
7. Puerto Rico
8. Australia


Julie (infertility reality)