So, I cried this morning. Twice. And then again this afternoon. Then I decided I needed to read a book on baby sleep. I looked at this one and this one and this one. And then I cried again and decided not to buy any of them. Then I went back and re-visited a comment that Karen had left on a previous post about the four-month sleep regression. I did a little googling and started to feel a little better. Then I called the new babysitter to check on R and I cried again, only tears of relief. I talked with the sitter for about 20 minutes on sleep, what she is doing and what she recommends I do. My problem isn’t that I am overly tired or that I am frustrated. It is that I KNOW R is tired and not getting enough/good sleep and I don’t know what the best thing to do about it is.
Backing up a little; Since R started rolling over things have been rough between the hours of 11pm and 6am at our house. Sometimes we have 5 hour stretches, sometimes we have two hour stretches and sometimes (Sunday night) we have 10.5 hour stretches. On Sunday, I thought we had a breakthrough… but last night was the worst. She went down at 7:30pm and woke at 10, 11, 1, 3 and 4. She is seemingly very uncomfortable, tired and not hungry when she wakes. She can often be soothed back to sleep, but often doesn’t stay that way long (obviously). So last night at 10pm we let her soothe herself back to sleep (while watching on the video monitor). It only took about 6 minutes. At 11pm, I went and patted her back to sleep (because I was feeling guilty about the 6 minutes of CIO). At 1am Hubbs patted her back to sleep. At 3am I picked her up and rocked her back to sleep. At 4am I brought her to our bed, fed her and let her sleep in the swing the rest of the night. She woke up at 7:30 smiling (as usual. If she weren’t so cute it would piss me off.)
I think we get an A+ for consistency!! HA!
We already do a great job at the nighttime routine. We do the same thing every night and have ZERO trouble getting her to sleep. Getting her to sleep at night is a cakewalk. Getting her to STAY asleep is another story. I can’t let her CIO. I just can’t. It isn’t listening to her cry that bothers me, it is the thinking about what she might be thinking that kills me. I just can’t do it. So, here is the plan….
When she wakes, we are going to wait three to five minutes for her to put herself back to sleep (depending on how hard she is crying). Then, we are going to go try to pat her back to sleep and shush her. That almost always works, it just depends on how long it will last. If we decide we need to feed her (which I KNOW she isn’t hungry, but the food will ensure another 3-4 hour stretch of sleep… which I know I shouldn’t feed her to get her to go back to sleep, which is why we try not to, but SLEEPING is part of being healthy and an extra 4 oz isn’t going to hurt her) we are going to feed her in her crib without taking her out. Obviously if she gets super super upset(which doesn’t happen too often), we will have to pick her up, but we are going to do everything we can to avoid that. I am comfortable with this both in philosophy and execution. For me, it is a comfortable mix of “It is nighttime and you need to sleep,” and “we are here to meet your needs.” For the record, I don’t think we have been “spoiling” her or that she is trying to “manipulate” us or anything. I just think she is waking up uncomfortable and we need to show her that it is still time to sleep and not time to wake up and that we are there for her if she really needs us.
It bugs me that the root of our inconsistency is our own laziness. But man, I am tired! But I think we will better now that we have an actual laid out plan.
A funny sleep note is that R is starting to blow raspberries in her sleep. Too cute!
P.S. I think I love R’s baby sitter.
Miraculously My Own 
Samuel sleeps on his belly and will roll to his back and wake himself up. We flip him over, give him his pacifier and he goes back to sleep. I do CIO and the longest we have ever waited is 15 minutes and now we don't even wait 2 before he fades out. I had to turn the monitor off at first because it drove me nuts. It will get better.
That's how Isabel was but I can honestly and openly admit here since my wonderful hubby and devoted daddy won't read this. HE FED HER EVERY TIME SHE WOKE UP. The bottle quickly became a crutch to her so if you can avoid the bottle do. And from the sound of it you do. At 4 months she is not spoiled so don't even try to tell us she's not we know it. But Isabel was spoiled at 5 months so you're implementing your plan of attack at the perfect time. I do wonder though if she slept so well in her swing if it might be a bit of reflux and the sitting up makes her comfortable. I know a lady whose daughter slept in the bouncy chair for her first year because of reflux. It is about whatever helps them sleep sometimes. Sounds like you've got a good plan and a great baby sitter to bounce ideas off of. Good luck tonight.
You cannot spoil a baby. If your child wakes and needs comforting or a tiny snack…that's what she needs. I am not a fan of CIO. I believe that a baby cannot learn to self soothe until 4-6 months. I am a little different than moms of this day and age…I love Dr. Sears and I like Kellysmom dot com. I know it can be tiring getting up constantly throughout the night but R will set her own schedule. And I bet that in a few weeks, she will be back to sleeping longer stretches. She is probably at a different developmental stage and her body is adjusting. She also may be at the begining stages of teething and that may be disrupting her sleep. You have a game plan and that is great. Just don't beat yourself up about it…what works for some may not work or be right for you or R.
Gosh, this is a tough one. Good luck. Sounds like you have a plan..sometimes that's all you can do. Declan didn't even sleep longer than 2 hours before 4 mos. That's right about when he started to STTN. He had a horrible 9 month regression and it feels like we now have a 12 month regression setting it. They have so many new things- crawling then walking, teeth, etc. Hang in there. Know that good sleep comes and goes.
Sounds like a great plan! Some babies need to fuss themselves back to sleep and it's perfectly fine. So long as she isn't screaming or crying her little heart out, she'll be just fine. But ask any doctor and they'll tell you that babies need to talk/fuss back to sleep (it's a coping mechanism).Let us know how it goes!!!
Try the Baby Wise books, it sounds like that is what you're doing any way. 😀 You're so sweet and such a good mama! We're all proud of you!
we all need to take care of our little ones in the way that feels comfortable and natural to us. 🙂 milo went through a very similar phase at 4 months. i've read that when a baby learns/develops a new "trick" ~ rolling over, crawling, etc. it throws their whole sleep routine off. we're going through it again now at 6 months. 🙂 we were doing so good for so long……good luck! it will get better…..at least until the next new milestone! 🙂
I'm so glad we're not the only ones having sleep issues!!!! SERIOUSLY!Ty is seven weeks old today, sleeps great at night, in his own bed (6-7 hours), but REFUSES to sleep during the day unless I'm holding him.I've tried everything. Read three different books. Enforced the scheduling thing. Nothing works.Today, I was so exasperated I threw my hands up in surrender. Ty wins! I told Ben I'm taking a week off…we'll try again next week.Don't you wish there was a hotline we could call that gave all the RIGHT answers?
I'll keep my fingers crossed that your plans work, and that you're all able to get some sleep!
I remember that sleep was a horrible issue at 4 months. In fact, it was pretty bad until around 6 months, and then he had separation anxiety kick in at 7 months! I really like the No Cry Sleep Solution for the first 7 months. I did start CIO at 7 months, but only for 15 minutes at a time. Until then, though, they're just not ready. The trick for us was a solid bedtime routine and nap routine, plus just going in when he cried to lay him down and put the pacifier in his mouth. When he learned that we weren't going to rock him, but that we were still there for him, he learned how to sleep.
Good luck with your plan. When S started rolling over on his tummy, he would wake up because he hated his tummy time. Now, he flips over to his tummy as soon as we put him in bed and sleeps that way. If he wakes at night (like he did the last two nights), I will give him 5 minutes or so to settle back down. If he does not settle or I can tell the crying is getting more intense I'll pick him up to comfort him and rock him for a few minutes. Last night, I rocked him for 2 minutes, put him back in his crib awake and didn't hear from him again until morning. I agree that CIO during the middle of the night is rough and at 4 months, I'd have a similar plan.
Sounds like a great plan, and I do think the consistency and repetition of the same set of actions will help get you through this phase. I had to chuckle with your comment, "It bugs me that the root of our inconsistency is our own laziness. But man, I am tired!" because I can totally relate to that! I also think WE are the ones getting spoiled to easy babies, and then when a problem does arise we have to combat our own laid back nature in order to find a workable solution. Also for the record, according to my most recent child development class, you can't spoil a baby under a year old by responding to their needs…but you are right on track with the notion that SLEEP is a fundamental need, and one you must meet. You are an awesome mommy, and I predict you'll have this sleeping hiccup licked in no time!!Love,Melba